so i'm aware that xanga died.

i have a RANT however that can't go in lj. i'm sorry kids. you don't get the lalala happy julia posts. well i'm stressing out so fuckign bad about this chuck and tj business. like they used to be such good friends, and to see chuck disliking tj that much just KILLS me. he's such a dick about it and i'm so confused cause as much as i love tj, i've always thought of chuck as the less jackassy one. and now... it's tj. chuck was amazing over the summer. what happened? i used to be in fucking love with the kid. x_x and now tj's one of my like literal top 4 best friends. and chuck's just like... there. and so much less chucktu-ish. and it's REALLY REALLY getting to me at the moment.

either tj's changed or i'm like more tolerant, or less sensitive or just... i dunno. tj's <3 now. and honestly, i don't know who's right. but it seems like tj in this case. he feels betrayed and just wants to be friends, but chuck's just like grrr hate tj. no more chances and they were such good friends. that's what friends to. forgive, chuck.

so what's a kid who loves both of them supposed to do when both are hanging out friday and both want to sleep over at her house? chuck's all... i'm not sleeping over. >.< he can suit himself. i'm afraid i might stop trying...

and this is how i come to realize once again that i am a spoiled, cushioned, sheltered, snobby brighton girl. i'm so fucking upset that i can't go to clubhouse because of the sudden gas shortage in rochester. my parents don't wanna use the LESS THAN A GALLON of gas it takes in the prius to get to clubhouse and back. and here i am, so wrapped up in self pity because all of my siblings have people in brighton to hang out with and i'm the only one at home alone. i'm so upset and feeling so fucking sorry for myself when there's people out there whose lives have been turned upside down and have lost everything, even their lives. their homes are destroyed under tons of water, their loved ones are hurt or missing. and i'm here crying cause i can't see my friends who won't even notice i'm not there for one friday. i need a fucking wakeup call.

fuck it. the gas situation is only gonna get worse from here. average price at the moment: $3.50 per gallon and the hurricane only hit a couple of days ago. i'm NOT asking anybody to give me a ride when they have to pay that much. i'm the one whose rents have a fucking prius. i'd give em money for the gas, but i don't think it'd convince them. once again, fuck it. i fucking hate myself right now.

i have some friends
some that i hardly know
but we've had some times
i wouldn't trade for the world

story of my life.

sorry for the lack of xanga updateage. it happens on lj. how sad. i was the biggest anti lj pro xanga kid too. heh.

if love is a labor i'll slave til the end
i won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

i'm in love with the world and i'm in love with my friends. i'm in love with this summer. i never want it to end. thanks for the best summer in the whole wide world, guys.

ok guys. i'm on the verge of tears. there's one fucking thing about me i can't change. and that's the thing people can't handle. you'd think being tall wouldn't keep people away THAT much.